Don't buy women flowers

I'm being very serious here.

Here is my point. Women do love to receive flowers, I understand that but it comes at a price.

If you give a woman flowers she will undoubtedly have a brief moment of delight. How pleased she will be that someone is thinking of her and someone cares.

But then, the hard work starts. She has to first get them home intact. Not so bad if you have a car, bit of a nightmare on public transport. Then she will spend a considerable amount of time selecting the correct vase or vessel, probably ferreting around the back of kitchen cupboards and under the stairs to find one. What follows is a long pain staking process of trying to 'make them look nice'. She will spend an inordinate amount of her evening trying to make them look as attractive as possible. Perhaps ribbons and ties will be involved. After that's done there is then all the mess to clean up. The trimmed stems, the removed leaves and so forth.

From my point of view it would be as if someone had made me an unexpected gift of an IKEA flat pack unit that I then had to struggle home with on the bus. Assemble myself before clearing up all the detritus, and then photoing the finished item, sending them the photo with a message about how nice it looks. But for me it ends there. For the woman with flowers she then has to keep tending these things like looking after an unasked for tamagotchi for days after to ensure they stay alive. Changing the water and feeding the water. Pulling out the dying ones and re-arranging to cover these losses. It's an ongoing nightmare. Especially if the thoughtful one who gave you this gift comes around and you are down to your one remaining stem of freesia.

My ex-girlfriend who was my no means a girly-girl (always hair scraped tightly back, never saw her once go to work in a dress or skirt, not that surprising really as she is an arc welder). Would spend hours trying to sort out flowers on the odd occasion that someone bought them for her She would consider herself a failure as a woman if she couldn't turn a cheap spray from the garage into something Elton John would envy.

So don't buy flowers for women. You are making a rod for their back.